SOHM go to Hogwarts
by FredandGeorgeasaurusRex
Summary: You don't have to read this. It will most likely contain millions of inside jokes. It will be hilarious though! so fluffy that if you wrapped it in cotton the world could use it as a duvet.


Ellie and tash and beth and Katie were on the platform about to board the train.

Omg they all said

Tash was like lol ellie lets push beth under the train

Katie was like noooooooo das ist mean

Beth was like hahahahgdgaergfgfggj I durnt geddit

Ellie was like beth don't take drugs

Dumblydorr was like please may I have some Beth

Beth said NEIN and hit him with her large sack of potatoes she was carrying

The trolley lady was like anything from the trolleyyyyyy

Sohm was all like wut woman we aren't even on the train yet

Ellie the author was like yes they are I can't describe everything

Everyone said okkkk but didn't buy any sweets cos it turned out beths potatoes were filled with reeses cups, peanut butter m n ms, chocolate m n ms, chocolate muffins and nerds.

Not skittles cos I hate skittles

Then on the train dracooo turned up nd when he saw us he fell over cos he had a heart attack from our beauty

Oh noooooo sohm cried

Katie who is clever and sensible said at least we r not gonna fight ova him now

Yay said everyone sohm 4evarrrrr

Then ellie showed everyone her six pack which was actually a six pack of iced gems

Yayyyyyyy iced gemmsszzzs

Wow that is such a sneaky play on words how clever

Geddit – six pack, sick pack of iced gems?

Nyahhhahahaha (voldmorts retarded laugh)

Tash said omg voldiemordors retarded laugh is like nyan cat! Nyanhahhahacat!

Everyone oohed and ahhed at this glorious and life changing statement

Ok skip to Hogwarts now otherwise it will get boring

First years over here! Said Hagrid

Someone random shouted 'girl look at that hobo!' (it was probably Dumbledore) which made Hagrid sing and dance a parody of LMFAO's song 'Sexy and I Know It' – he called it 'A Hobo and I Know it'

Everyone was well impressed with his talent

Except the people who were grossed out cos he had flicked his sweat and bloodsucking, AIDS carrying fleas everywhere. Which was actually most people cos Hagrid is massivo and the crowd was not that big

So not that many people were impressed really

He still got a record deal tho because you would be surprised at the amount of people with no talent who get signed *coughcoughJustinBiebercough*

Lol no offence to justin bieber if he reads this – if you are I actually have some kind of respect for you because this fanfic is basically legend and you are reading hpff, which is the awesomest thing

Although if you have a spare minute, google justin bieber is a girl. Just for the lolz

BACK TO THE STORYYYYY

At Hogwarts, ellie and taskalaska and beffanee and kaitsabelle (why do I not have a hilarious name parody?) had their own special table that was actually inside a bouncy castle with zero gravity. They had different food to everyone else – they had magical edible bubbles that were flavoured like totally random foods, like delicious stuff. And it had random nutrients in it so they never had to eat vegetables, and had 0 calories so they could eat 100000000000000000000 of them and not get fat. And they were chewy and had texture.

How cool would that be?!

Dumbledore was like what up ma homies?

He looked totally down and sick, rocking adidas trackies and an 'authentic' snapback.

He even had a snapback tanline and a tattoo that said YOLO.

Sohm used their magical powers to turn Dumbledore into a much awesomer (totes a new word btw) person

They dressed him in rainbow patterned skinny jeans (for men), an 'I heart haters jumper', and one knitted shoe, one toe shoe.

Everyone agreed he looked totally fresh.

After that, it was time for everyone to go schleeeeeeep.

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